I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
