Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
