Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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