Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
send nudes
from the living room?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize