She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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