your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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