elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
