do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
