Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize