The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she told me i tasted like america
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The uberlube is also flammable
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
