Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize