It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
