He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
