How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
