Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
