Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
