he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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