no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
