i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
