Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
do nipples grow back?
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