he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
