i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
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You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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