I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
