So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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