I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
