before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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