Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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