he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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