But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
