You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
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Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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