well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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