All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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