I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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