i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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