Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
