She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I got inside last night via doggy door
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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