Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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