Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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