Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
