My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize