just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
