first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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