so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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