and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Still dying that you shit outside
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
