My room smells like vodka and shame
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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