Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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