just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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