You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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