I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
