My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the day after is always just damage control
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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