You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
