sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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