1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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