i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
