everyone is single if you try hard enough
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
