There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
