He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't deserve a penis
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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