I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
