I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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