you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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