Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
