five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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