i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm always down for nudity.
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