I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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